I cannot seem to shut my mind off. It's killing me, slowly and relentlessly. I over-think every damn thing that pops into my head. I constantly critique myself, as well as others, when I know I shouldn't. and why do I do this? because I'm crazy. I don't know. I just can't seem to stop. I try to think rationally, reasonably, and with my mind (over other body parts, i.e. my heart). I cannot rely on what my heart wants or needs compared what is needed to keep my mind on a stable upkeep. If I fall once for something my heart suggest, I am weak. That's the way I see it.
Yet, I'm crazy. So that must mean there is something wrong with my mind, right? so I should just stop listening to what my thoughts are telling me? What if my heart has a bigger influence over my mind than I originally thought? Oh dear God. It sucks that you cannot survive with just your mind or heart. and at this point, I do not know which I would choose...
DAMN IT.
i think i know how you feel. this is exactly how i am too, and i hate every second of it.
ReplyDeleteDamn. I wish you didn't feel this way because it completely sucks the life out of me.
ReplyDelete